Diary of A post suicidal Teenage Female

Sep 11, 2011

                     So today I will let you in on a little secret I will be a teenage girl with__ thoughts lol. So sometimes I feel like my parents should be put on a plane with a one way ticket to Antarctica. Or I could even get mean and set the house on fire by "accident".... I feel that I can't live in this house and remain sane. I feel that some part of me is going to haul off and leave the bad side of me free. However, being a teenage as adults say is not hard, but I beg to differ. Being a teen back then and being a teen now is two different things than before. Back then you had your in the closet gays and lesbians, but now in my generation it is out in the open, and with that comes openly heavy criticism. Also, the stress load is unbearable at times, it's like you want to give up and sometimes you do give up. It's like being a teen strips away your youth and whip and torment you, it's like nobody understands you, which parents often don't. It's like being put in a situation where you have a gun with one bullet in it and you constantly try to shoot yourself but it ends up empty, pushing you to the edge and bringing you back just to push you over the edge again. Till finally you shoot and the bullet kills you. No way to voice your opinion without being slammed down. It's like being a caged animal, being put on display until you end-up getting free. The only freedom is a slow agonizing trip to nowhere and anywhere. Sometimes I get so mad because of past events and the present, it's like I can't catch a break. I will be so relieved when I graduate out of high school, I will feel like a big burden have been lifted off my shoulder I count the days, months, and weeks, until my freedom. All I can do now is be a soldier for depressed, voiceless, hurt teens all over the world. I still have my flag raised high for the world to see I won't go down without a fight. So call me crazy if you like but right now in this moment I could care less.
                                                               Fightin Until the Bitter End
                                                                        -Sincerely Fay(emotionless, severely depressed)
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